Marriage Counseling
Common questions about marriage counseling, who it is for, and how it can help.
General Questions
What Is Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling refers to couples therapy for two married individuals. Sessions address topics common to all couples, such as identifying, addressing and resolving conflicts within their relationship, as well as topics more specific to marriage like financial responsibilities, relationship longevity, changing dynamics within marriage and the family as a whole, and more.
How Can Marriage Counseling Help?
Marriage counseling can help all couples overcome difficulties or disagreements, strengthen relationships, improve communication and address problem areas early or in the midst of conflict.
It is a common misconception that attending marriage counseling means that there is a large problem to address, or that it should only be used as a later effort to “save” your marriage. Couples counseling of all types, including marriage counseling, is an excellent resource for couples to use to grow closer together, identify and address problems early, and ensure a happy and long-lasting partnership.
Why Is Marriage Counseling Important?
Marriage counseling is important to the overall happiness of both partners, both individually and as a couple. By working through conflict and learning how to strengthen communication with one another, you can help ensure that your marriage remains healthy, vibrant and strong throughout life’s difficulties.
Can I Fix My Marriage Without Counseling?
While marriages can be repaired without counseling, there is no need to avoid counseling. Couples therapy is beneficial regardless of the situation, or one’s ability to repair it on their own. It can provide an outside perspective, a safe place and proven communication principles that can be applied for the rest of your life.
Are Marriage Counselors Worth It?
Marriage counseling is most successful when both participants are willing to attend sessions and work on their relationship together. Marriage counseling is certainly worth it under these circumstances.
If one partner is not willing to attend or open up during the sessions, then individual counseling may be a better option. Individual therapy will still be able to address some of the relationship topics with the willing participant and may have a positive impact on the relationship.
Who, Where and When
Who Should Go to Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling can be an excellent resource for all married couples. Whether you are newly married or have been married for decades, are going through a rough patch or looking to address issues proactively, marriage counseling can help.
When Should I Get Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling can be provided at any time in your marriage. Do not feel like you need to wait for a problem to occur before seeking assistance. In fact, proactively seeking counseling can often help your relationship avoid unnecessary pitfalls and help the two of you grow stronger and closer together.
Who Should I See for Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling can be provided by licensed counselors and other mental health professionals who practice couples therapy. The right counselor for you will depend on the personality types and communication styles of all involved, as well as what you are looking to get out of the sessions.
Where Can I Find a Marriage Counselor?
Marriage counseling can be provided by any licensed mental health professional with an interest and experience in couples counseling. At Kennelly and Associates, we have several therapists that specialize in this area. We are happy to help match you with the best therapist for you. Just call our office or fill out our online appointment request form.
Marriage Sessions
What Does Marriage Counseling Consist of?
Marriage counseling is an umbrella term for a number of psychotherapy techniques centered around helping couples address conflict and improve communication. Counseling sessions will likely include a combination of talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), education on communication skills and “take home” exercises. Every couple is unique, as are your sessions.
What Are Common Marriage Counseling Questions?
No standard set of questions is used in marriage counseling, because the process is unique to you! The goal of counseling is to allow for safe communication and sharing with one another. Your counselor is there to help facilitate this environment, encourage openness and honesty and provide insight from an objective perspective.
Rather than worrying about what questions may come up, take the time to examine what you are looking to get out of counseling and what topics you would like to discuss. Doing this outside of the sessions can help ensure that you get the most from your time with your therapist.
Can Marriage Counseling Make Things Worse?
Marriage counseling in and of itself will not make your relationship worse, but it is important to understand that counseling only works if everyone is committed to the process.
Within the counseling process, difficult issues will likely arise. It is important that everyone is committed to working through these issues together in order to find an effective solution. If one or both of you fail to commit to this process, then you may be left with a list of problems and no solutions.
How Many Sessions Is Marriage Counseling?
Your number of sessions will be dependent on your situation and your goals; however a common number of sessions for relationship counseling falls between 12 and 16 sessions. Following an initial evaluation, your therapist can provide an estimate for how many sessions they anticipate you will need.
What Should I Not Tell a Marriage Counselor?
You should tell a marriage counselor everything that you feel comfortable sharing. Couples therapy is a safe place to express yourself; there’s no need for embarrassment or shame. The more honest and open you can be with your therapist and with each other, the more effective the sessions will be.
Will Marriage Counselors Ever Suggest Divorce?
It is not common for a marriage counselor to suggest divorce for the participants. It is the therapist’s role to provide couples with useful tools of communication and conflict resolution, regardless of the current state of their relationship. It is not the responsibility nor the desire of the therapist to provide a “fix” for the situation, divorce or otherwise.
Is Marriage Counseling Covered by Insurance?
Most insurance plans do not pay for marriage counseling, as relationship conflict is not a recognized mental health diagnosis. That being said, do not let the fear of cost keep you from getting the help you need. If you have questions about the cost of counseling, please contact our office.
Effectiveness
What Is the Success Rate of Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling has an extremely high success rate, with the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy reporting 98%.
Aside from the reduction of divorce rates, which is significant, the additional benefits of counseling include better communication skills, more amicable relationships and improved happiness in the home. All of these can be improved through seeking counseling.
Can It Be Too Late for Marriage Counseling?
It is never too late for marriage counseling if both members of the relationship are willing to continue to work together. Marriage counseling has a high success rate under these circumstances because commitment to one another and to the cause ensures that problems can be resolved.
What Should I Do When Marriage Counseling Doesn’t Work?
In some cases, marriage counseling may not deliver the results you seek. This is often the case when one of the members of the relationship is not committed to the process, or if either or both individuals have unrealistic expectations in terms of time or results.
If this is the case for you and you are still looking to repair your relationship, don’t give up. We recommend trying a different therapist and allowing yourselves the time to continue to work for a solution. You may still find what you’re after.
Should I Go to Counseling or Get a Divorce?
Attending counseling prior to getting a divorce is almost always a good option. In some cases, couples counseling can help repair or restore the relationship and help them avoid divorce altogether.
Even in cases where this level of reconciliation is not possible, counseling can still help the individuals better understand one another, leading to a more amicable divorce in which both parties feel closure and consideration for one another in the legal proceedings.